i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
