I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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