found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
