Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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