I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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