did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
