the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
