Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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