this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
