like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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