i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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