roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
