He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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