We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
