All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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