The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
