i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
