toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
