i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
