After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
