Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You made out with two different species that night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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