fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
