Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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