The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
