Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
