I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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