get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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