We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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