she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
the raccoons are back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
