Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
