she was so not down for the gang bang
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
