Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
