You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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