Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
