Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
