This dress was meant to end up on your floor
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
