Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
