So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
