Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
