Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
