I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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