Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
