And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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