I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
