he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
