drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
