I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
