im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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