sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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