A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
