i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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