these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
