all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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