Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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