id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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