now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
