so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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