I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he shaved USA in his pubs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
