I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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