me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
