I just pynch a tree in the face
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
