All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
